Hey, NBC, if only Madonna, while perched on her illuminated cross and wearing her crown of thorns during the special for which you plan to pay her something like $15,000,000, would sing these lyrics (that we once laughed at) from the old TV show, All In The Family...

Boy the way Glenn Miller played
Songs that made the hit parade
Guys like us we had it made
Those were the days

And you knew where you were then
Girls were girls and men were men
Mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again

Didn't need no welfare state
Everybody pulled his weight
Gee our old Lasalle ran great
Those were the days!

and the "lost verses"...

People seemed to be content
Fifty dollars paid the rent
Freaks were in a circus tent
Those were the days!

Take a little Sunday spin
Go to watch the Dodgers win
Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin
Hair was short and skirts were long
Kate Smith really sold a song
I don't know just what went wrong
Those were the days.

Rumors to the contrary, the network has no plans to finance a special based on Madonna's upcoming Jihad Tour, featuring Madonna, nude (except for one of those sexy curved Arabic swords) on a winged horse, in which a system of pulleys lift her heavenward after a brief stop in Jerusalem.

"Too much in love with our throats," an NBC executive who refused to be identified told Keen Arrows. "Besides, that would be insensitive."

See also here, and here, and here. Though it really isn't necessary.